i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
