that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
