Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
