what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
