he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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