1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
