we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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