Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
