Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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