We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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