I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
