Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
