I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
