I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize