So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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