i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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