So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
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well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
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WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize