All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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