the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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