You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
