Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
