I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Everclear isn't food dammit
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
