Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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