Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
