Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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