i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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