Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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