My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
