You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
