super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
