Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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