It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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