how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize