Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
