Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize