I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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