and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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