i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
