Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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