Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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