Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
