I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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