i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
