she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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