Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
