So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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