Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
