then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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