I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
either way he was missing a nipple.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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