Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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