I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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