I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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