I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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