yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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