oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
