Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
