Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
