she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
